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Post by tara on Oct 31, 2014 12:59:10 GMT -5
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Post by tara on Oct 31, 2014 13:04:28 GMT -5
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Post by crimmyj on Oct 31, 2014 14:41:22 GMT -5
Everyone should ship the hell out of this. CMON
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Post by teppy1 on Oct 31, 2014 15:32:56 GMT -5
I think they are perfect. She truly brings the best out of him and around her I can say I like Damon.
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Post by wednesday on Oct 31, 2014 15:53:09 GMT -5
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Post by tara on Nov 1, 2014 10:01:13 GMT -5
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Kiki
Team Stefan
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Kiki on Nov 1, 2014 10:49:51 GMT -5
Maybe it's not over yet. Maybe damon will try everything to find bonnie and they will reunite with a rainkiss No honestly one of the sypnosises said rhey search for this gemini coven so obviously damon told the whole story and they have hope to find her
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Post by deb on Nov 11, 2014 10:30:27 GMT -5
when it all boils down, elena is just not strong enough. "And it’s because I love you, I can’t be selfish with you." -Damon on love (S1)
Damon tried to sacrifice going home to Elena so that Bonnie could go home instead.
"I am not Stefan, how about you stop trying to turn me into him." Damon to Elena (S3)
"It’s not just that she makes him a better person, and she does, but he CHANGES her too. Damon challenges her, surprises her and makes her question her life, beliefs. Damon is either the best thing for her OR worst." (S3) Delena
Bonnie encourages him to improve himself, NOT change. She essentially accepts Damon, but she sees potential in him and she wants him to reach it. Bonnie is never pushy about it. She calls him out on something, and leaves him alone to think about what she said. She doesn’t use emotional blackmail to get Damon to act a certain way and she doesn’t make excuses for his bad behavior to justify herself.
Elena is only capable of seeing Damon as (good or bad). One never knows when that balance will be tipped. She keeps the balance by curving the Bad scale from time to time or manipulating Damon into behaving the way she thinks is Good. And of course, Stefan will always be Elena’s moral compass when it comes to ‘good’ so the closer Damon is to his brother, the more she is able to accept him. This whole compulsion thing with Alaric was like removing a rug and seeing all the dirt underneath. Without that rug (Elena’s excuses and delusions when it comes to Damon) she is left with all the dirt (her true feelings about Damon and the things he’s done). “Monster”.
"Things have to change. Damon has to change." - Bonnie to Stefan (S1)
Eventually, Bonnie realized Damon didn’t have to change because everything he needed was already there. It became:
"There’s always a choice."
"There’s hope for you."
CHANGE
In the beginning, Elena was supposedly a character with minimal personality flaws. Yes, her relationship with Damon changed her … for the worst. Look how far she has fallen.
CHALLENGE
For the most part, Damon challenges her by overriding her feelings and kicking her freewill to the curb. Even in the most recent episode, when Elena doesn’t want to see him, Damon doesn’t respect that. He keeps pushing, pushing, pushing and pushing until he gets his way with her. His desires are more important than hers most times because he believes he knows what’s best for them. Stefan always respected her decisions [even if he didn’t agree].
Sidenote: Bonnie is the same way with Jeremy. She rarely takes his feelings into consideration once her mind is made up. She will always do things her way, because she feels it is the best way. She’ll leave Jeremy out of the plan. She sees Jeremy as someone to protect — NOT someone who is her equal. Sound familiar? Damon and Bonnie take each other’s input into consideration even when their stubborn minds seem made up. They protect each other (think of how they took down Kai in the supermarket. Bonnie started, Damon finished). IF ELENA WOULD’VE TOLD DAMON TO RUN WHILE SHE TOOK KAI DOWN, he wouldn’t have had enough faith in her to last a second with him. With Bonnie he has some peace of mind. He knows she can hold her own. They see each other as EQUALS (Not lambs that have to be babied emotionally and protected from outside dangers).
QUESTION: LIFE & BELIEFS
“He consumes me.” Elena
consume definition:
to destroy or expend.
Use up.
to undergo destruction.
waste away
"I’m not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything. That in death, you’re the one that made me feel most alive. You’ve been a terrible person. You made all the wrong choices and of all the choices that I have made this will prove to be the WORST one, but I am not sorry that I’m in love with you." - Elena to Damon
Damon is a man who needs a woman that knows who she is and will not be destroyed by him. Elena is not the same person because ultimately, under Damon’s influence, she’s not strong enough to hold on to herself. Damon is insecure and his self-worth is shot. He’s looking for someone to love and that certain someone has to believe in him — proving that he’s worth something. Being with Elena deluded him for some time, but finally he was able to see that he was not being truly accepted. He was being vouched for when he didn’t deserve it. It’s like cheating on a test. That’s what Delena is — a grade undeserved, instant gratification with minimal effort. Damon doesn’t have to try very hard to be “worthy” because Elena will find a way to give him bonus points since she loves him. Deep down he liked it better when she held him accountable. So he lashed out at her, told her to stop making excuses for him and broke it off.
After finding out Damon murdered innocent people while they were together.
"I’m not defending you."
"I am BAD, Elena. I am BAD for you. So why wouldn’t you run away from me as far as humanly possible?"
"Because I love you, Damon. Because I chose you and I stand by my choice."
"Well, now i’m choosing … and i’m choosing to let you go."
"Damon, i’ve done horrible things too. Do you think i’m going to stand here and judge you after I find out you’ve been tortured for five years?"
“STOP DEFENDING ME. I won’t change, Elena. I can’t, but I refuse to change you.
Bonnie after finding out Damon murdered a pregnant woman. He was being selfish, willing to escape with Kai if it meant he’d go home too.
Bonnie: I’m not letting Kai out of here, okay? He just said, he’s a serial killer.
Damon: I don’t care. I wanna get out of here.
Bonnie: How can you not care? Maybe because of the horrible things you have done? Maybe cause killing a bunge of kids is not a big deal to someone who has murdered a pregnant woman? Am I wrong?
She thinks about it. Probably wonders if she was right to have hope that Damon had any potential, but she stumbled on something. A REASON to believe in him and not something dismissive like “I forgive you because I love you.”
Damon: Shame eating?
Bonnie: Thinking about that pregnant lady. She had a thing for pancakes.
Damon: That’s what you remember?
Bonnie: You remember it, don’t you? You make pancakes every day.
Damon: Cause I’m bored.
Bonnie: No. Cause you’re punishing yourself. You call this place your hell and it makes you feel remorse. That makes you different from Kai. There is hope for you.
Damon: Look. We can still get out of here, Bonnie. We can just steal that ascendant contraption, find out what Kai knows. We’ll ditch him.
I think subconsciously Damon felt like he was the same as Kai — so if he could be unleashed on the world, so could Kai. Now, he knows he’s better than that — he deserves to go home and Kai doesn’t. And just like that Damon chooses to ditch him.
I question whether Damon loves Elena as a person or loves what she represents. She was good enough for Stefan [someone he’s measured himself against for most of his life] and he wants to be good enough for her [proving that he is just as worthy as Stefan]. If he can’t see Elena as this pillar of hope for his own redemption, is she worth having?
"I was convinced I RUINED you." -Damon after Elena didn’t hold him accountable.
Nope. At the root of Delena: An Elena that isn’t “good” is ruined and he’d rather let that go. And a Damon that does bad things is a monster.
"You should’ve noticed - that I was Katherine … Katherine was me." -Elena to Damon once she was back to her normal self after Katherine took over her body
Damon immediately notices when something is not right about Bonnie. When she was “sleep walking” to feed Alaric her blood. When she was possessed by Emily Bennett and when Silas had her under his control. He knew. He knows her. She’s not an idea. She’s not his redemption. She’s not a win against his brother. She’s Bonnie.
"You are the best influence on me. You are good and I need a little in my life because without it there’s an awful lot of darkness." -Damon to Elena
He’s searching for someone that can love him without sweeping what he does under a rug. He wants to know that he’s more than just GOOD or BAD. He wants judgment and consequence. He wants approval when deserved. He wants needs someone to have faith in him. He needs to have faith in that person too. He wants to be loved truthfully and unconditionally.
Elena can’t give him that.
Damon: “I just killed your friend and you find someone else to blame.”
Elena: “You want me to blame you? EASY. Done. You screwed up, Damon. Again. You put me in a position where I have to defend you again. Where I have to BEND MY MORALS again. Where I have to go against every single thing that I believe in again BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.”
Damon: “Well, then stop loving me.”
Elena: “I can’t.”
How can you stop doing something that you never really started? This isn’t love. Delena is merely a manifestation of the insecurity and fears that Elena and Damon face separately. As Damon said, they are toxic. They’re also co-dependent. Look at the way they handle not being together. Elena was willing to die to be with him last season and now she erased him from her memory. When they broke up Damon told her
"I can’t be your friend. It’s too damn hard. I can’t see you anymore. I don’t want to hear your voice. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t even want to look at you and I sure as hell don’t want to be your friend.
So when Damon died, Elena wanted him erased from her memory and when they couldn’t be together, Damon wanted it to be like she was dead.
When Damon tries to do something noble — dying to save Stefan / helping to bring people back from the other side, Elena stepped in and tried to trigger his selfishness.
"Project BOOM needs someone to trigger the explosion so to speak."
"Okay … wait … you? NO, Damon. No. Absolutely not. Look at me. Damon, do you see a future with me because that’s all I see."
"Elena, I’ve seen it since the second I laid eyes on you."
"Then don’t go on a suicide mission."
"Technically, it’s only half a suicide mission because we’re going to be bringing people back from the other side and i’m gonna be with them."
"What if something goes wrong?"
"Not to relive old fights, but this is my choice, and I need you to respect it."
"That was a low blow."
"I will make it back to you. I promise.”
Elena decided to go to The Other Side with him (for no purpose other than to make sure he came back). It is my belief that once he was on The Other Side he made the final decision to stay there and meet the same fate as Bonnie.
Elena: “You lied to me.”
"Even if I wanted to apologize, you couldn’t hear me, so I won’t.”
"Please don’t leave me."
"I don’t have a choice, baby. You are, by far, the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my 173 years on this Earth. The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved, not just by anyone, but you, Elena Gilbert. It’s the epitome of a fulfilled life. It’s never gonna get any better than this. I peaked. “
I think that spending months with Bonnie and getting to know her on an even deeper level. Feeling her light and hope. Knowing that the person he wants to become, is the person she knows he can be. That’s exactly what Damon has been looking for. He hasn’t peaked. He’s just getting started.
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Bamon
Nov 11, 2014 13:37:42 GMT -5
deb likes this
Post by jennifer on Nov 11, 2014 13:37:42 GMT -5
when it all boils down, elena is just not strong enough. "And it’s because I love you, I can’t be selfish with you." -Damon on love (S1) Damon tried to sacrifice going home to Elena so that Bonnie could go home instead. "I am not Stefan, how about you stop trying to turn me into him." Damon to Elena (S3) "It’s not just that she makes him a better person, and she does, but he CHANGES her too. Damon challenges her, surprises her and makes her question her life, beliefs. Damon is either the best thing for her OR worst." (S3) Delena Bonnie encourages him to improve himself, NOT change. She essentially accepts Damon, but she sees potential in him and she wants him to reach it. Bonnie is never pushy about it. She calls him out on something, and leaves him alone to think about what she said. She doesn’t use emotional blackmail to get Damon to act a certain way and she doesn’t make excuses for his bad behavior to justify herself. <<<Snipped post for reply>>>> Bravo deb - this is the best explanation I've read for why Damon and Elena can't make it as a couple, explaining the personality traits, problems and other factors that keep the two of them from having a healthy, loving relationship. Also why Bonnnie can offer the kind of love Damon needs and vice-versa. You're right that neither of their couple experiences were with people equal to them in power. I think Elena wants to believe she's the kind of woman who can handle Damon but she's not. Anyway, very thorough, really interesting.
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Post by crimmyj on Nov 11, 2014 14:36:11 GMT -5
Thanks for posting that deb as it beautifully pieces together what I have thought all along...Damon and Bonnie are the two that should be together. Some of the best moments of Damon's, where he has shown true heroism have included Bonnie, saving Bonnie.
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Post by tara on Nov 11, 2014 18:25:12 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2014 19:08:37 GMT -5
Thanks for posting that deb as it beautifully pieces together what I have thought all along...Damon and Bonnie are the two that should be together. Some of the best moments of Damon's, where he has shown true heroism have included Bonnie, saving Bonnie. I know we're all for Bamon, but don't you think Jeremy will have something to say about it? I mean... it is his girlfriend. And even if she was to break up with him, Damon is the last person he would want to see her with. Jeremy is the wild card no one is thinking about. I guess Damon can always kill him...?
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Bamon
Nov 12, 2014 1:26:40 GMT -5
Post by crimmyj on Nov 12, 2014 1:26:40 GMT -5
Thanks for posting that deb as it beautifully pieces together what I have thought all along...Damon and Bonnie are the two that should be together. Some of the best moments of Damon's, where he has shown true heroism have included Bonnie, saving Bonnie. I know we're all for Bamon, but don't you think Jeremy will have something to say about it? I mean... it is his girlfriend. And even if she was to break up with him, Damon is the last person he would want to see her with. Jeremy is the wild card no one is thinking about. I guess Damon can always kill him...? And THAT is what makes it all the more interesting...conflict!
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Post by deb on Nov 14, 2014 18:02:31 GMT -5
BEST CHEMISTRY of THIS EPISODE: Damon and Miss Cuddles with Bonnie’s Magic inside <3
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Post by crimmyj on Nov 14, 2014 18:59:05 GMT -5
BEST CHEMISTRY of THIS EPISODE: Damon and Miss Cuddles with Bonnie’s Magic inside <3 True story. This episode so opens the door for Bamon. at least that is what I hope. I'm going all in. I think Bonnie is the only one that can bring Damon redemption.
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